Monday, July 18, 2011

Hey Arnold: Character Analysis

ARNOLD
On the outside, Arnold is a well adjusted kid. His parents were anthropologists and explorers of sorts, who died when he was born. Since then, he was sent to live with his grandparents who own a large home, where they rent out rooms.
His grandparents are both older, his grandpa having been in world war 2 would have been in his 80's. Although Grandpa Phil is fine now, due to his older age, he will continue to be able to move around less and less, and is sadly, nearing the end of his life. Because of this, his involvement in Arnold's life will become less and less. The likelihood of grandpa Phil making it to the point where Arnold turns 18 is less than likely, which will have a large impact on Arnold, due to the fact that Phil is the closest thing he has had to a father.
Living in the house with a group of people who has the possibility to change at any point would be very unsettling to a child. Ideally at this point in his life, he would have a home life that he knows he can count on. However, the residents of his household could move out at any point, and then he would have to get used to a new person. He is also exposed to the guests of the residents being in and out of the house.
With hope, his grandparents will have instilled the values he needs to be a well adjusted adult before he is left without a father figure at all.
HELGA
Helga is an aggressive child who treats those she really cares about poorly. Childhood aggression can usually be explained by home life. Helga's parents are completely uninvolved in Helga's life. Her older sister, Olga, is an over achiever and her parents consistently compare her to her sister. Because Helga feels she cannot become what Olga is, she compensates by being angry. Her mother is spacy and out of it. It can be suspected that she has some sort of addiction problem be it prescription medication or alcohol. She slurs her words and when she does speak it is usually wishy-washy. Because Olga was their first child, and his first daughter, Helga's father more than likely wanted Helga to be born a boy, which is why he treats her like a boy.
Her behavior shows signs of anxiety and obsessive compulsive behaviors. She has developed a crush on Arnold. Due to her lack of control in her home life, she feels a lack of control with her feelings for Arnold and therefore pushes him away for fear that he will treat her the same way her father does. However, she is still obsessed with the idea of being with him, so to compensate she has built an idol of Arnold composed of things that he has touched, worn, and even gum that he has chewed. She locks her self in her room to perform these rituals and compulsions based around Arnold and the idol she has built.
When Helga gets older she will grow to separate from her mother due to her addictive and dependent tendencies. She will also grow to resent her father for not only comparing her to her older sister, but for also treating her as the son he never had. She will grow into a maladaptive adult with control issues who pushes away friends and relationships with men for fear they will repeat the same behavior her parents did.

HAROLD
Harold is another on of the children who takes to bullying the other kids. Not much of his home life is known. However, Harold also has an issue with childhood obesity. Both of his parents are also obese. Children learn from their parents and more than likely his parents are overeaters and encourage the same in their child.
Unhealthy food is often cheaper, and since Harold usually has no healthy food choices in his lunch and otherwise avoids healthy food, his family is more than likely poor. Being in a lower income bracket can often put stress upon a marriage. No doubt, Harold's parents have fargued numerous times based on money- arguments Harold may or may not have been witness to.
Harold's mother is usually the one seen giving Harold the junk food. Harold's mother is feeling guilty for Harold having witnessed these arguments, and due to her own uncomfortable feelings discussing the current situation with her son, she chooses to compensate by using food.
Because Harold has no genuine connection with his parents, he feel the need to assert his power on the other children to feel better. Because of this, he has no friends. Through his relationship with his mother, he has learned that food equals love, and therefore uses food to comfort himself.
As Harold grows into an adult, he will continue to have issues with weight and self esteem. He will continue to use food to comfort himself and will continue into possible food addiction if he does not seek some kind of behavioral therapy to understand and correct why he does what he does.

EUGENE
Eugene is a nervous wreck of a kid. He is continually bullied for his awkwardness. However, this behavior is a vicious cycle. He has bad luck anyways and is always getting hurt, losing things, and is thought to be the “class jinx.”
Even as a 9 year old, Eugene has learned to fear the world around him. He approaches things much more cautiously than other 9 year olds. Due to his continual exposure to bullying, he also has grown to mistrust other people.
What is at risk for, is developing paranoias and obsessive compulsive behavior revolving around his bad luck. He will continue to mistrust and be paranoid of other people, fearing that they will betray him and his trust. As his luck worsens, Eugene will begin to develop the strong urge to control the world around him and his extreme caution will turn to extreme rituals that he believe will stop his bad luck. When those fail, his rituals will worsen and worsen until he he seeks cognitive behavioral therapy.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

People I Hate

SCRAPBOOKERS
I've never been one for arts and crafts- in general I avoid them. However, scrapbookers, gravitate towards it at an almost unnatural rate. They collect everything for the sake of making a page to remember that moment by.
Why do I hate scrapbookers? Scrapbookers are obnoxious, and are the type of “craft people” that insist you take part in their craft. They know how to ruin a chill get together by blurting out “Hey everyone! Lets scrapbook!” You look for a reason not to and say “ah, you see, I didn't bring my pens or supplies.” Not surprisingly, they carry that shit on them. They are always prepared to make a scrapbook memory of it. They get you by saying they want to “remember this moment.” So, you join them for the sake of not looking like an asshole. Then, here you are, staring at a blank piece of paper and you realize that you have no idea what the hell you are doing. You have random pens, pieces of fabric, and other items that you are supposed to glue in random places that still make sense. Then you decide what you “vision” is and you go for it.....and still fail. You proudly hold up your scrapbook page to you friend who approves of it in the same way as a mother approves of her 4-year old bringing a piece of macaroni art home- she has no idea what the hell its supposed to be, but she hangs it on the fridge, only to remove it later hoping the kid doesn't notice. Then your scrapbooking friend hold up her page, and its a magnificent piece of art, and you again, remember why you never attempt art in the first place.

“You're going to think this is funny” People.
I love jokes. I love funny stories. What kills both of them? Being told how funny I'm going to think they are when I hear them.
These people have the best of intentions, they want to make you laugh. However, the moment they say “you wanna hear something funny?” I immediately start laughing uncontrollably because I am expecting to laugh so I just start laughing. Another one of my (not) favorites is when they say “You are gonna crack up at this one...” and they continue their story. Usually, I DON'T crack up because I was expecting something hilarious and was met with something relatively mediocre. It's not that the story isn't funny, I usually chuckle for the sake of being polite, but its just more of a “you had to be there” kind of funny.
Rather than assuming your joke is hilarious and that I'm going to bust my gut laughing, tell me “hey, wanna hear a joke?” and let ME decide if I think its funny. When you set me up for something I think is going ot be the best joke or story of my life, and it flops, your credibility for the next time you say “oh you're gonna bust up at this one...” drops considerably.

People Who Talk For Their Dogs
Don't get me wrong, I love animals, and it's true that all of my animals have people names. I love them all, but I stop at giving them all human qualities.
I cringe when I hear someone say about their dog when its begging for attention, 'Look! It's as if shes saying 'look mommy! I want to party too!'”
No, your dog isn't saying that. Its a dog and therefore is incapable of higher thinking. It has no concept of party. It most certainly does not see you as “mommy.” You are “master.” To it, you are a big weird looking alpha dog.
Another, is inundating one's facebook with pictures of their cats/dogs with captions that say “Okay mom! I'm ready for my closeup.” Usually the same people have every other picture as their dog/cat/hamster. Every other status update includes updates about where they are.....with their dog.
Do you remember that speech your ex boyfriend gave you about “personal space” and not being so “clingy.” Yeah, your dog would give you the same exact speech if it could.

The person who repeats a funny line while watching a movie
Sometimes I enjoy going to the movies to see a funny movie. If something is funny, I laugh and move on.
This person, doesn't quite grasp that concept. If THEY find something funny, not only do they repeat what the person onscreen just said, but they laugh obnoxiously as they do so. Then they look at me to see if I am laughing just as hard as they are- either to “include” me or for some kind of validation.
Dear “funny line repeater” and “laugh validator”
You really don't need to repeat that line, I hear it. See that huge screen in front of us? It produces sound that the whole damn theater can hear- which means I heard the joke at the same exact volume that you did. Repeating it does not make it any funnier. It's okay to laugh- you don't need my permission.

Parents who try to make their kids classy
When I see Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes dress up their kid Suri in ridiculously expensive clothing, I want to laugh at the contradiction.
When you put your child in these clothes, they are still going to be little kids. Just because your kid is in a $5,000 Gucci dress, does not mean she won't still shit herself, pick her nose and eat it, and generally put her little jam hands all over that expensive dress.
The kid has no concept of how to behave in public, which means your effort to have the image of the “perfect family” before your children even have a concept of it, will always fail. Just when you get them dressed all perfect, they are going to do what little kids do. As soon as the parents who do this realize this, they can finally put their kids in clothing they don't have to worry about being ruined by some unknown sticky substance.