Childhood Disappointments

Tooth Fairy

The pain of losing one's teeth can only be countered by one thing- money, and this is where the tooth fairy came into play.

Every time I had a loose tooth, I would mess with it for a while, not looking forward to the moment I just had to rip it out of my head, which I usually left for my dad to take care of for me. My dad was the ultimate hero in this instance.He would rip it out of my face with superman like strength, meanwhile commending me on my heroic ability to lose a tooth. The discomfort always disappeared when I knew that I would soon be coming into money. 

I believed that the tooth fairy liked me best- my teeth were gorgeous, I was adorable, and well, i was just the favorite. It was not uncommon to be left $1, sometimes $2. I pitied the children who were left a measly quarter or two.

My mind flashed to all the things I could buy. Candy. A House. Toys. It would all be mine. This whole tooth losing business was going to make me a lot of money.

One time, I lost the tooth, so instead, I colored the most beautiful picture I could color for her, and offered it to her as an apology. She obliged and left me money.

I don't recall how I found out she was a fake, but it obviously wasn't too scarring. I don't recall throwing a tantrum.
I do, however, recall becoming quite greedy. I loved when we had garage sales, and hated when my mom sold things for way below what they were worth, which were fortunes!! How dare she sell my dresses, dresses that I WORE, for change? I cherished every dollar.
I was comforted by the fact that I still had my buddies, Santa and the Easter Bunny to keep me going.

Santa

Santa is one of those beliefs that is much like those who believe in Sasquatch or the Loch Ness Monster. Like a toothless hillbilly, every kid swears on their life that Santa exists. They have seen him! They saw him in the mall! Even the news people have the Santa tracker that shows you where he is at all times on his Christmas Voyage.I never questioned how the hell a fat man could be pulled through the air by reindeer or how he was able to visit every single person in the whole damn world in one day. When you're Santa, the impossible IS possible. i was devoted. I left him milk and cookies. I waited for him as if he was the second coming of Jesus. I would jerk myself awake to run and see if Santa had appeared in the time that I had fallen asleep. I was determined to catch that bastard.

The beginning of the end was when my parents, my brother, and I were staying at my grandparents on Christmas Eve. I did not have any milk or cookies to put out for Santa. Disheartened, I took to writing him a letter. It worked for the tooth fairy, surely it would work for my main man Santa. 
 To my surprise, I awoke to a letter from him! And wow! I never knew my Dad and Santa had such similar writing! He told me how he just helped himself to some juice in the fridge. I questioned it, but I brushed it off and opened presents anyways.
One time when I was about 5, i went into my parents room and found some presents. I was convinced that I had ruined Christmas for everyone.

Then one day I am over at a neighbors house, and she blatantly told me that Santa wasn't real. Bitch. I didn't believe her. There was only one person who could reassure me- mom. Mom could do me no wrong. Mom was the savior. Surely mom would tell me not to listen to a such a horrible, rotten, evil little child.
 I ran home all pissed off and ready for my mom to reassure me that jolly old St. Nick was alive and real. She shook her head and told me "no." Just like that, it was all shattered. Gone. Poof. Childhood had slipped through my tiny little hands. The past 9 years of my life, of opening presents, of tags addressed to me from "santa" was a lie.
 Although I was a bit angry and sad, I ultimately arrived at the conclusion that I still got to open presents and eat. In between presents I mourned the fictional fat man, but took comfort that there was still one savior left. There was one guy who could save my childhood- the Easter Bunny.

Easter Bunny

     Easter- what a wonderful holiday. Candy. Food. Bunnys. Brightly colored eggs. More candy. HIDDEN CANDY. Its like Christmas, only with more of an emphasis on candy......and maybe Jesus, but as a kid, the focus is candy.

One day, I went to the store with my parents and they told my brother and I to go do our own thing. They came back and had bought this new trash can (an important detail) I don't know why, but I decided to stick my arm in the newly picked out trash can. I felt a few bags of candy. I also saw a bean bag bunny. Curious, I waited until we got home, and I asked my parents, "what the hell?" They confirmed, that the easter bunny, was in fact, a fucking hoax.

I. WAS. PISSED. At that moment, I lost it- crying hysterically, yelling, screaming, and angry at the filthy rotten liars that were my parents. I yelled at them that I had been "lied to my whole life." How dare they? First the tooth fairy, THEN Santa, and NOW- you're gonna tell me, that the very last fragment of my childhood is not real? Now you're going to tell me that this colorful holiday about candy, colored eggs, and a fuzzy bunny actually has a LEGITIMATE  meaning!? Kiss my fat 9 year old ass.

I've managed to recover, but I will forever hold the grudge of my childhood innocence being ripped away with the disappearance of my childhood heros. While I don't tell anyone, I still look for the Santa Radar, and I still get excited to wake up on Christmas morning. There will always be a plate of cookies and milk for Santa......in my heart.