Dear Omaha Steaks

 Once upon a time for fathers day I decided to be an awesome daughter and get my father a big package of meat to grill for the family. It was a win-win situation- he likes to grill and I enjoy eating. It's like those Christmas gifts that you get for someone that are really just gifts for yourself.

Luckily, Omaha Steaks was running a special that was too good to pass up. I snatched it up as fast as I could, and to my delight my dad loved it. We enjoyed our Omaha Steaks package for weeks to come.

However, Omaha Steaks got “attached.” From that point on, I received call after call, and every week, my mailbox and email inbox was filled with coupons and “offers.” They just couldn't let it go. Like any fed up lover, I figured my ignoring them would tell them “Hey, I'm not interested anymore, please leave me alone.” However, they persisted. They figured “Maybe she's busy, I'll just call later.” No voicemail, just a few missed calls. Sometimes I would feign interest and pick up a call or two. I would listen to their spiel, but politely decline and tell them that I was either broke or too busy to talk any longer. I had hoped they would realize that they were not going to be getting anything out of me anytime soon and would look elsewhere, but this was not so. They just kept coming back for more. Near the end I got more frustrated and told them that it was just a one time deal and that I didn't really intend on ordering from them anymore. The operator sounded disappointed, but understood and would let me go. Even after I told them I didn't anticipate ordering from them anytime soon and that it wasn't anything personal, the calls still persisted.

After months of painful back and fourth conversations, I decided that this needed to end. I took myself off their email list, and I told the next operator to please not contact me anymore. However, every tumultuous relationship needs to end with a letter to give both people closure- which I think is what I and Omaha Steaks needed- closure. I basically wanted to tell them “hey, I had a great time, but this just isn't working.”

Dear Omaha Steaks,

We need to talk. Lately I feel like your behavior has gotten a bit out of hand.

It all started when you piqued my interest one day, and I decided to get to know you a bit, and I eventually decided to take a chance.

I intended this to just be a one time thing- one day of fun and then we would just part ways. Sadly, I do not think you see it this way.

Since our day of fun, I have received call after call. Sometimes I get missed calls, and sometimes you don't even leave a message. The calls are always the same, usually about how you've changed and how you've got something “special” for me.

Then came the mail. On a regular basis now I receive an abundance of mail, all promising me gifts- some of which sound great. However, to me, the gifts and letters are just sad attempts at getting back something that never really was.

I hope you can understand that we can't talk anymore. I hope you have a great life and you meet someone who really takes advantage of all the great things you have to offer. I just hope you understand, that that person cannot be me.

-Kelly Bigley

It was an immediate relief to send off that email, and I could only hope my pal Omaha Steaks could view it the same way. I wouldn't admit it, but I anxiously awaited their reply. I wondered if I had hurt their feelings and if I had been honest without hurting their ego. All I could do was wait. I got a short reply back that just stated that they would no longer contact me. Although they didn't say it, I knew they were hurt, but I had to do what I had to do- for the BOTH of us.

Its been about 6 months now and I have not heard from Omaha Steaks. Although its better this way, I still sometimes wonder what they are up to. In times like that, I just smile and think back to all the tasty tasty times we had together.